Is it selfish to ask people to pray for you?

I was wondering.  I know that may sound silly, but really, is it? I don’t like asking people for help, that’s just a part of who I am but I seem to have to do that quite often, this week especially. As some of you may know, my mamaw, who I’ve been taking care of constantly since Mom passed, was put in CCU at St.Mary’s this week. She is currently still in there for many reasons. She had a heart attack while she was in the ER on Monday, she has lots of fluid build up around her heart and lungs and in her lungs. They actually drained some out the other day but I expect it to fill again. As for her heart, it’s barely beating. They didn’t do a heart cath to see how severe the heart attack was or how much damage it caused. She is becoming ‘rambunctious’ as one nurse told me this morning and very confused. She is a feisty little lady when she wants to be and apparently she threatened to bite a couple of nurses the other night, even though she didn’t have her teeth in! I have realized though, even though its embarrassing, I can’t do anything about it. She is her own person and won’t do anything unless she wants to. So as much as I tell her to behave, it doesn’t matter, I’m wasting my breath. So, I have had to find someone to watch Rylan while I go to the hospital every night. I cringe every time I have to do that, I know I shouldn’t cause people want to help, but I do. As far as mamaw, she is so ready to get out of this world. IF she does get through this, it’s going to happen again and if she gets out, I’m gonna have to find somewhere to put her. I just hate thinking about that, I have no idea what to do. I hate to have her spend the rest of her days unhappy, suffering in a nursing home. Someone I love dearly told me, there are worst things than death and I think that would be it. So I will continue to wait, wait to see what happens. I just hope whatever it is, it goes smoothly.

As some of you have read on here before, I am trying to rebuild my relationship with God, and I’m ashamed to say, I’m not doing a very good job. I know I need to go to church, but I haven’t. I know I need to pray all the time, but I don’t. For some reason I just keep letting myself and God down. So, if asking you for prayers isn’t selfish, I need them, for many reasons.

As I continue to run, run, run all the time, I don’t forget all of you that have helped me along the way. I deeply appreciate everything and am sorry if I haven’t kept in touch. I had a really cool book sent to me this past week with no return address or name on it, if you sent it, please let me know. I want to thank you personally for thinking of me and my mom.

Hope everyone has a great weekend, enjoy the weather tomorrow.

(sorry no pictures!)

Boys will be boys

The very first time I heard “It’s a boy!”, I wondered how in the world was I going to raise a boy!?  Probably sounds silly but I had no clue what I was going to do with him.  I had never been around little boys and didn’t know the first thing about them!  So my story begins…!  Rylan, not quite being a year and a half yet, has managed to only hurt himself two times, which some will say is pretty good.  Boo-boo #1 happened by tripping and busting his lip.

We got some ice water to get his paci cold since he wouldn't stay still long enough to keep ice on it.  That made him happy, then he started playing in the water!

     

 

Boo-boo #2 happened at daycare last week.  Being the daredevil he is now, keeps climbing on the table.  They try to keep him off of it but he always gets back up.  This time, the teacher had just gotten him down and turned to get another child when he was back up there again, lost his balance and fell.  His forehead hit the chair and bled everywhere.  When they called, she mentioned that he may have to have stitches.  We took him to the doctor just in case since it was close to his eye.  No stitches, just some steri-strips and Neosporin and he was good.

 

One good thing I realized is that I didn’t get upset during either experience.  I stayed calm and didn’t panic.  So needless to say, I’m proud of myself for that!  

As for the remodeling, we started painting the living room and have got the majority of the floor down in the living room and hallway.  I say we but Brandon has done all of it pretty much. My job has been keeping Rylan from being in the middle of everything.  He loves construction work and wants to be right there helping.  He’s a good little helper.

Here are a couple more pictures.  I haven't had the camera out much lately.

One more work week down, one great weekend to look forward to

This week went by pretty fast, like most weeks.   Tuesday was mom’s birthday, so that was a weird day.  Rylan has been very grumpy and sleepy all week and it drove me crazy not know what was wrong, but thanks to Marla, I now know that he has 3 teeth coming in.  I had thought that was the problem but I kept feeling in the back where his molars were, little did I know they were up in front!  So now that I know what the problem is, maybe I can treat it!

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, so Happy V-day to everyone.  Last Valentine’s day was really the last time I saw and talked to my mom fully coherent.  Not really a good way to think of Valentine’s day huh?  Oh well, I’m thankful I could spent a little of my day with her last year.

We plan on trying to remodel our house soon. I’m very excited about that, it sure needs a face lift.  And it will help us when we decide to sell it.  I just dread all the work, but it will be worth it in the long run.  So we get to pick out paint and flooring, sounds like fun.

Something weird, in the past month there have been 4 people, well…’beings’ (3 people, 1 very sweet dog) that I know, pass away.  It’s just been really crazy lately.

This isn’t really a recent thing but sometimes I can’t help but notice how everyone is different.  Different ways of dealing with things, different opinions, different thoughts.  Sometimes it can be frustrating I think but other times its really interesting.  When I would handle one thing this way, some of my friends may handle it another, and with very good reason.  It’s just fun sometimes to see it. I guess a lot of it is how you were raised.  A lot of times you may think just how your parents do because they taught you to think that way.  Anyway, just something I thought I would throw in there!

Welp, I hope everyone has a great Valentine’s Day and weekend!

Dierks Bentley

[clearspring_widget title="Grooveshark Widget: Single Song" wid="48f3f305ad1283e4" pid="4989f9006a296a34" width="400" height="300" domain="widgets.clearspring.com"]

Blues

I don’t blog as much because I don’t really have anything to talk about.  My life isn’t boring by any means, I mean I have so much going on that I can’t keep steady on my feet sometimes.  But of all the things going on, it’s nothing to really talk about in detail on here.  I feel like I don’t have time to be myself and it really bothers me.  I don’t have time to do the things I like to do like take pictures, play with my son, scrapbook, read, anything like that.  It’s like I’ve lost who I am and I desperately want to get that back. Within the past 3-4 weeks, its been all about mamaw.  She was in the hospital for 2 weeks and every night I was there to visit and see what was going on.  Every night I just really wanted to go home and see my family but I knew that I needed to be at the hospital.  Now she is in the nursing home temporarily and I’m trying to get a schedule going so I don’t have to be there every night after work.  But even though I’m not there, there are other things going on, something I need to sign, papers I need to deliver, mail that needs to be checked, clothes that need to be washed so I can take them back the next day, insurance problems…..I could seriously go on.  So even though some nights I can go home and relax, I don’t because I’m constantly thinking and worrying.  That has become my life.  That is how I’ve been for the past year.  Always running, ALWAYS.  Since I’ve been that way for so long, its hard to not be that way.  Like if I have a few minutes to sit on the couch and watch TV, I feel like I need to get up and do something that needs to be done.

On a little bit lighter note, Rylan can say NO now.  As of now its usually just when he doesn’t want to eat something.  He is going through this phase where he doesn’t want to be fed from a spoon.  This drives me nuts cause I can’t think of things to feed him that he can eat by himself.  He hasn’t taken much interest in feeding himself with a spoon so until then, I need to come up with other things.  So if any of you out there know some ideas, spread the mommy knowledge!  I don’t have any new pictures of the little monster but hope to get some soon.  He gives hugs and eskimo kisses now, that’s my favorite!  Even though I don’t want him to grow up, its fun to see him learn and do new things.

The weather has been crazy this week.  They may have called schools off but they haven’t called Stonemill off!  I want it to snow to where we’re stuck and can’t go to work.  That way I wouldn’t have to try to find somebody to watch Rylan (by the way, thank you Connie for keeping him, don’t know what I’d do without you!) and I could stay at home with him myself.  But it looks like this weekend will be much like last weekend, warmer and sunny.  It was nice to shed the jacket for a couple days.

It's February...not a good month for me.

A New and Improved Rylan!

Last Saturday Krista and I took Rylan for his first haircut.  I was sad but glad at the same time because he was a shaggy mess.  A friend from daycare told me about this barber in Western Plaza and it sounded good so that’s where we went.  Everyone there was really nice and the barber who cut Ry’s hair was great.  I say great cause he managed to cut a wiggly octopus’s hair with very sharp scissors without cutting off a finger or ear!  I don’t see how he did it.  I had to stay in Rylan’s face and sing ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’ over and over again cause at the time I couldn’t think of anything else!  They said they usually give out certificates for first haircuts but were out, so he said to remember the date and stop back by and he would give me one. 

Rylan looks like such a big boy now, I didn't know how much a haircut could make a difference!  I haven’t decided if I want to go all the way back there for his next one, I really liked it there but we’ll see.  Here are some pictures:

Before

                  

After

  

To new beginnings, cheers

Alright, it’s been over a month, bout time to write something I guess.  It’s the new year and ‘New Year’ means starting over and making the best of the next year, so that is what I intend to do.  I am determined to make this year better.  No more feeling sorry for myself, no more running around like a crazy person doing a million things all the time.  No more living in the dark.  This year, my little light is going to shine!  I have many resolutions but that pretty much sums them up.  I’m going to try and lose weight, go to church more to revive my relationship with God, I’m going to keep my house cleaner and I’m going to be happy.  So far the first few days of January have been pretty good, haven’t started all of my resolutions but intend too.

Christmas wasn’t as joyful this year, I really wanted to skip the day altogether and go on.  But that didn’t happen.  The day was full of emotion, mishaps and dread.  It was one of those days where I felt like nothing was going right and everything I touched fell apart.  Rylan seemed to have an ok day though with lots of presents.

         

 

So how about this economy huh?   Scary is the word that comes to my mind.  I’m worried about my job, probably like most people in my field.  We have no work, haven’t in a long time.  Just makes me wonder how much longer I will survive or better, how long my company will survive.  Of course I hope the best for both!  Our company is small but so far has hung on when others couldn’t, and hopefully will continue to do so throughout this mess.

 

I love keeping in touch with people, but I’m not too good at it.  I love hearing from people just to see how they are doing or what’s going on in their lives.  It’s funny cause Mom would always keep me on track with the people she knew.  Her friends and coworkers may not know it, but she always let me know the latest on what was going on.  So that is something I miss sometimes.  So any of you who may be reading, keep in touch, please J  My email is clmurphy23@gmail.com, I would love to hear from you.

 

Rylan is getting so big!  He does something new and funny everyday it seems.  He is walking really good now and even tries to run every now and then.  His laugh is so funny, you can’t help but to laugh with him.  He is doing this thing now that when he hugs you, he pats you on the back.  He still has problems out of his ears, which I had hoped would stop after getting the tubes.  Other than that, he’s just wobbling along everywhere, most of the time happily!

  

Until next time....